Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Honeymoon

 I asked myself…what I know about HONEYMOONS.  I finally realized I know nothing.  On my honeymoon my husband and I called home to see if our new home was ready to move in when his sister said whatever she said, that caused our honeymoon to be cut short.  Who leaves their honeymoon early?  Honestly, we did.  Today I realize that the Honeymoon set a foundation for the relationship.  It is one of those moments in time that when things get difficult it is something you booth have to talk about it.

Here are something’s I would do different if I could.  This is not meant as a complaint, more like if I knew then what I know now.  The wedding and honeymoon are a reflection of the people in the relationship.  What is important to the both of you?  If you are people who like being with each other and want to shut out the world then do so.  Maybe a quiet, intimate wedding and honeymoon is what is perfect for you.

If you are a person who is budget conscience, then plan a small wedding and spend most of the money on the honeymoon.  It is a time to make all your dreams, plans, thoughts of what you both hope for in the future.  It is a time when you should both be equally having fun.  Not one better than the other.  The honeymoon should be a place you both should enjoy spending time together.

Know if you are the type that has a large budget, go for it.  Go Big!  If you go Big on the Wedding, then you have to Go Big on the HONEYMOON.  Why? Hum!  The honeymoon is where you booth start your real life together.  The wedding is the dream.  It is beautiful, lovely and should be everything you both ever wanted.

HONEYMOON, have traditionally been about what the man wants.  That is no longer true.  Men and women desire time well spent on their honeymoons.  Imagine a large wedding spending thousands of dollars and then coming home to a flat.  That how the future thoughts of one another will be, flat, she will blame you, you will blame him, etc.  Big weddings need to have Big Honeymoons so your high expectations of one another can continue.

Setting expectations:  What are their expectations to be set in a HONEYMOON?  We have wedding expectations, why not honeymoon expectations.  How will he perform?  Right!  Men wonder this about woman all the time.  Does your man wear the right lingerie to light the flame within you?  Does he expect you to wear the lingerie and do all the work to get him aroused?  If he expects this from you, are you not supposed to expect it from him?  Equally yoked right?  Expectations of one another are set by so many of social expectations that I make my clients have time to speak to one another of their desires.  No, I am not there when they are talking about it.  But I do help them find help if they are having difficulties talking about it because family members have their expectations as well.  To be able to discuss, communicate with one another on expectations for ones future is the beginning of a relationship that works for both parties.  If you can’t talk about the “HONEYMOON” the relationship part of it all, you just might not be ready to get married.  The “HONEYMOON” is something a couple should be able to discuss throughout their whole marriage.  Without it the marriage is questioned.  Mainly it is questioned within the couple, when the couple is made to doubt about themselves then the world (family, friends) question.  Mainly, because we speak of this to our friends trying to correct it, if you can talk to each other about intimate things at the beginning of the marriage you should be able to throughout your marriage.  You can always start the conversation with remember our “Honeymoon” discussions.  We each have an obligation to ourselves, and our partners.  In Christian marriages it is to our partner and then us.
                                               

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