Hi there Diamond Glamour Girls;
You know the 21st century is different for women and men. We have been taught to speak anything we want right or wrong. This creates brokenness within relationships that should not be. In the case of divorce maybe less said is better in social situations. Here are some tips I hope you find helpful.
The Ten Rules of Good Ex-Etiquette for Holidays and other Family Celebrations.
1. Put Children first.
2. Remember the spirit of the special occasion.
3. Never badmouth the ex, extended-family members, the host, or others.
4. Get organized well in advance.
5. Don't be spiteful.
6. Don't hold grudges.
7. Use empathy when problem solving.
8. Be honest and straightforward.
9. Respect each other's turf, holiday rituals and family traditions.
10. Compromise whenever possible.
These tips I found in a wonderful book " Ex-Etiquette for the Holidays and Other Family Celebrations"
Now here is the truth as I see it. You were at one time under the impression your ex was the dream of your life. That they could do no wrong, or would not do any wrong. They did you divorce, separated choose a differently life. Now you have these social moments where you could spend time arguing fighting about all the things.
The truth is, you both were wrong. "It takes two to make a marriage it takes two to break up a marriage." Do not ask your children to save your marriage.
If there was violence involved then the person who hit was wrong first it is a safety issue...do not be around them. Make sure you have someone to help you. If you don't have someone who can attend with you then don't. Give a polite excuse. If you have children and it is an event or celebration for your child attend. Be around others and quietly leave without victimizing yourself further.
If he becomes violent in public...make a scene and let it be known. (EVEN IF VERBAL OR ANY ACTION THAT IT IMPLIES) Do not go to an isolated location to have a conversation! Maybe someone will help you. Do not isolate yourself. I am sorry if this offends. It is wonderful you have children but your life matters as well. Let other know that you have been threaten. I know it is not etiquette and your children might not understand. Adult abuse excised. Be safe.
Etiquette works for those situations where you are or have to be polite. When the children are little it is one thing, but when they are adults they need to know that you "Do Not Want to Be a Victim."
BE SAFE USE GOOD JUDGEMENT AND DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL OR DRUGS THAT WILL IMPAIR YOUR ABILITIES. THEY JUST MAKE THING WORSE.
Be safe. Merry Christmas! Happy New Years!
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