I grew up with a Mom and a sister. My mom always wanted to be my sister she could be my sister
When I was still in my youth I can remember men telling my mom she looked so young. And then turning around and telling my sister she looked old enough to be my mom. I felt so sad for my sister. She was so insulted. My dad was insulted because they would then ask if he was her father. My sister's insulted look was something I will never forget. My mom was so happy because she was always about the beauty.
I thank my God for making me a Daddy's girl. My dad was all about teaching me through scripture. For this I will be thankful all the days of my life. (Phil 4:6) I never could find a way to explain to my sister what was going on. I understood early in life. With both my sister and dad insulted the family arguements would last longer then what they needed to. How do you explain to a sister five years older that was she is being explained is not truth. I was the "little sister", I didn't know anything, I was too young to know "innoscent".
Did this make daily living easier? Was it a smooth day all the time? That is not what he promises. His promises are others. There are some things that changed my life along the year of growing up reading the bible. That his word is true even though the cercumstances might not be. 1. Is knowing that there is compassion and it is different than a life of grace and mercy, peace and understanding. 2. Is that it is important in life to acknowledge the pain of others. (Is 13: 8) I tried to explain to my mom, something that she refuses to understand.
The pain my sister felt. The pain I felt when she acted beautiful with other men. Was it cheating on my Father? (Col 2:8) What did it produce? It produced difficulties I have trouble speaking of today. I was raped, my dad explained with the bible. At the age of thirteen my dad had to explain something I wasn't mature enough to understand. It was difficult for him to understand why or how another man could treat his child that way and I remember him crying as he explained. As a child I then tried to explained my mom what had happened. She refused to acknowledge it saying it was my fault. I don't agree, not all things that happen to young woman are their fault.
Today I sit in her home with her trying to get her to understand and she still refuses to acknowledge the pain within, as a teen and an adult. She wants me to be her, but the truth is I am not. I won't ever her! I am a different kind of mom. I insult when young men or old give me compliments. I am a mom of male children, who I demand respect from. I demanded respect from their friends and I do not allow them to offend women, sexually or with false compliments.
Do I deserve an apology from my mom, so does my sister, she has to fess up to her ways at some point. I don't know if I will ever get it. I know my Lord thinks so, she has denied it my whole life. My dad, his dad both apologize for the teens behavior, and the ripple affect it had on my life, because of the years missing are not a compliment or the best of testimonies. The said thing is I am feeling the ripple affect today being here in a house of the woman who refused to acknowledge it in the first place. I can't help but wonder if her and my sister would have acknowledged it how our lives would be different.
"And in that day you will say: O Lord, I will praise you; Through You were angry with me, Your anger is turned away, and You comfort me. Behold, God is my salvation I will trust and not be afraid; For Yah, The Lord is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation."
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