Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts

Monday, August 12, 2013

Who Has Control of Your Ovaries? (Daughterhood)

In 1979 I was married to the man I had been dating since the age of fifteen.  I laugh not really, I had known him since that age but made him wait to date me for 2 (two) painful years. Were they really painful?  From his point of view yes, from my point of view no.  I wasn't old enough to date a man who was five (5) years older than me.  Was I prejudice...certainly not.  I was definitely wise enough to know I was not mature enough to date such a man. Yes, I saw him as a man.  It took time to get to know him.  What does that have to do with this story....well in finding someone Jesus want for you it takes time, prayer and knowing if he is a man of good character.  That is what it took that then twenty (20) year old to prove to me.  That he also had a firm foundation. During those two (2) years this man who was then a college student and teachers aide at the high school I attended was allowed certain things.

1. He could occasionally allowed to drive me home.
2. He was allowed to come to my house and visit.

People always ask the stupidest questions.  Did we kiss, how far did we go?  Yes we kissed. He had to wait.  Not until my senior year in high school did we (did I ) begin to start dating, allowing our dating  to be public.  During that time Goods and Bads happen to me.  Two of my friends shot themselves, I was robbed at gun point point twice working at a part-time job to pay for my cheerleading and drill team uniforms and camp.  Their is a testing to believing that  "Jesus is Lord" I talked with my school counselor constantly because I was being stocked by   someone I didn't know. I even took a telephone operator position in the principles office...Guess what the stocker called me there.  I am so grateful for school police cause they caught him calling me from the school phone booth.  He didn't know about everything that happened but he did not when I got robbed at gun point I was pretty shaken up and he and his family gave me the courage to report the crimes and well as resigned.  

Years later I married this man that proved many things to me.  "I will never regret marring him, not matter what happen later in life. The greatest of these was he stood by me and helped me every chance I got.  He didn't allow my family to stop me from getting an education or getting in our marriage.  He was a believer, like myself and we could both scripture and hold each other accountable which made for both a difficult marriage and one of quality.  Un-replaceable!

and "For this a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh." Matt 19:3  For this reason I plan weddings and do not meddle in the couples business. It is the gift God gave me to provide an income, during this time. This is what I will continue to try to do.    This is one of those scripture verses that I find now I am now to be interesting living another life, unknowing what it will bring. Knowing that my own mom, when I got married and arrived from my honey, went off and married a man I didn't know. She was too busy to attend our wedding gift opening dinner...Oh my God...the stories go on.  "Forgive and don't forget...is my thought you don't have to live the past again... Especially the rapes, the crimes and the violence you left in the past.

Here I am today divorced in her home with that man I still don't know trying to take care of them.  Him with Parkinson's, her with diabetes listen to her telling me to move out all the time knowing, I don't have the finances to do so. Knowing that I can't be her child, knowing what they want is impossible for me to do for them.  They do not believe what I believe.  They did not choose what I choose.  Their marriage was not what my marriage was about.  Do I curse her or love her just because she is the mom God gave me.  Knowing that what I am living is not God's best for me.  Too many people with different believe systems in a marriage is not a good thing.  The one thing that is a good thing is that no matter what happens "Jesus is Lord!"

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Saturday, August 10, 2013

"Who's Has Control of Your Ovaries?" (Aging)

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls,

Mom are Mothers, are daughters, are sisters are aging... Aging gracefully is one of those things I have prayed for for myself, the moment I became a mom of teens.  I realized the aging process was upon me.  How does one do that gracefully?

The thing is, men compare us to our mothers  or their mothers and we see ourselves nothing like them. The other day I was helping out my mom. She is aging with that comes illness, diabities and other things, but generations and culture play a part in our misunderstanding.  It has alway been an issue.  Growing up in California both my sister and I love the freedom women have here.  My mom's mentallity of women is "woman can't do this because if for no other reason they are women".   Yet, her other thought is women can do anything they set their mind to.  It has been this perplexing thing for us.  Growing up we couldn't decide if she was for us or against us.  That's why I stuck with what my dad said.  "Do your best!.  Get a college education. God is Good. "  I confess I loved my dads vision of the "Father, God , Almighty and how good He is."  How He is a clean God, a loving God and one who is gentle."

"Coveting is it bad or good? "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbors. " Ex. 20:17

Let me tell you as my mom ages I am always am reminded of the little things, we use to do together.  Paint our fingernails, fix our hair even cook together.  The said thing is today, she wants control I want control.  I purchase something, she purchase the same thing and tries to out do me.  If it is intentional or not. I am sure, what I do know is that I laugh about it.  In attempt to explain things and to add humor to her aging self.  She doesn't want me to mother her and she most certainly doesn't want to mother me.   I thought okay, I just purchase popcorn and she purchased a bigger bag.  I always brush my teeth after so I went and got what I thought was her tooth brush.  Jokingly, I said to her.  Here you go.  I brushed my teeth after eating popcorn now it is your turn.  She looked and me and said. "Nooooo"!  "What? Where did you get that?" I said, "The shower...where you keep your toothbrush for you dentures?'  My mom got the most unusual look on her face.   Then replied calmly.  "That is not my toothbrush. That is a foot brush. I scrub my toes with it.'  

Oh the aging process...God grant me the love and grace I need to get through it.  Most of all thank you for my mother!

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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Who's in Control of Your Ovaries? (Motherhood)

"And Adam called dhis wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living." Gen. 3:20 

From the moment a female finds out she is pregnant life changes.  Shortly after that the back hurts, she becomes tired, doesn't want to be touched, feet swells, face swells, people greet the belly instead of her.  People no longer say hello, they star and talk to the baby to be.  Family says hiand right   away starts asking how do you feel. As if suddenly you should be feeling something, but your not sure what, so you ask the question you don't want to ask.  "How should I be feeling?"  As soon as that question gets asked....put on your listening ears cause the rest of the time you will be hearing about every women who is there experience with pregnancy.  The Good and the not so good.  I can remember thinking....help me.

Your mom tells everyone about how her pregnancy was with you.  How she felt,  It is her payback time.  Her time to share how you made her feel.  How you took away her freedom. How life changes after you have a baby, and the marriage is never the same.  I laugh at how things can be so different from one women to another. 

Technically, do you think Eve would have accepted the name if she knew its definition?  I think not!  she would of had to choose which living thing she wanted.  Do you want this or this or that.  If I had to do over I would have told God, I want.....  Instead of "Dear God, may I please have....honestly no mom want to think of their son as a "Fill-her", but was that what God meant by all living things? But then again was the snake one of those living things?  If so was he from Adams thought life?

I think if Adam was the best God could make then think about it...he reacted to the snake exactly how men react to "Honey, I'm pregnant." They look at us like we are from another planet.  As if we did it all by ourselves. Confession l know their are devises that exist like that but I don't think it is God's best.  However, they don't talk much either.  So who knows.  "Not right now..I am just about to....Oh touchdown!  What did you say honey your what?" 

What is Motherhood really about.  Ask your children in about 20 years if they are still talking to you and see what they answer.  My answer...."Love".  Learning to love in a way that nothing on earth or heaven will ever teach how totally and completely you can love another human. That raising one of those living thing God gave Eve took a whole lot of GRACE!
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