What is the Best Day You Remember In Your Life!

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls!

This is my last blogmas for 2017. I decided to only write 20 why one might ask. I am currently not willing to enter the superbowl of blogmas or vlogmas, however I wish you all the best. I thank you for reading my blogs post. It's not my season. In theses things one needs to understand time.

My favorite Christmas of all time is when I was married. First year, how I think back now and laugh. It was so difficult getting use to living in a new place, new house, new husband, new responsibilities. I think it is  called "adulting " today. It was such a busy year. I was employed and a full time student. He was employed full time and working those long hours. It was not unusual for home to be gone twelve-sixteeen hours a day. It was fine, although we fought on who's schedule was more important. Who did what chores. Then your newlyweds so people expect this cute sexiness. That just angered me.

That year we argued about everything, tree lights, money presents. Laundry, groceries, bills, budgets, household finances, you understand the picture. What a Christmas! I hated all the growing pains. The romance of dating was a glass shattering with the reality of married life. How does one balance?

Then it was suddenly Christmas Eve and we spent the whole night talking about the meaning of Christmas. The reality was we were both suffering. It wasn't what either of us expected. Divorce? Always an option. However, somehow we feel asleep by the tree that year and awoke in each others arms. Love still exsisted.

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#blogmas2017 #blogmas2017/dgg

30 Days Of Blogging Challenge Childhood Memories

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls:

This is one of the things I love and why I choose to become a teacher. I loved my childhood. To my friends it was always questioned. To me it was normal. What was so different about my family? I was raised in a bi-lingual  family. That's what it was called at the time. I was born in the United States of America. It took me the longest time to understand. I grew up speaking two languages and from there, I fell in love with other languages and learned to speak a little French, Italian and Japanese. I learned we were all children who were made fun of. It's now labeled as discrimination.

Once you learn that's it's not just your family, you learn to overcome the prejudice that you feel, experience and are told that it doesn't exist. It's also the type of prejudice that forces sex upon young people before their ready. It's a way to blame someone for action not willing to have responsibility for. I remember telling my children when they felt peer preassure and didn't know how to get out of it to blame me. My mom won't allow me to. Why did I do that? I didn't have that luxury. Then I'd be right there to help them. Help them.

"Not all things are explained in the good book." I remember a great man told me once me. I had been praying for a family that he had been sent on a missions trip. Was sadden to hear how they were treating them. That's when man has to use what he reads as a guideline. Use common sense and speak truth into the heart of man. Education will always help you work through the truth. There are many scientific truths only one who is true. Complex isn't it? I use to be ponder the earth testing out the truth. I had freedom to test. Do you? It proved to be greater than I.

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What Is a Friend to Do?

I have often thought about what defines a good friend?
I meet people everyday, as I walk or eat lunch.
What is a good friend?
These things you begin to understand when you are going through changes that no one expected.

I have decided that a good friend is best defined in times of trouble over times of peace in ones life.
The friend that was with you in times when your business was good, doing well or the friend who sees trouble in the horizon and disappears.

Lets face it we all have both. The truth is those that are good friends have a certain character traits.
What and how do you define a good friend?
Is it a co-worker?
Is it your sister?
Is it your neighbor?
Is it an old boyfriend? girlfriend?

Here are some things I feel are important in a friendship.

1. Trust which is built over time.
2. Honesty which is built through trust.
3. Integrity...the person says what they are going to do and do what they say.
4. Understanding your friend should understand that not everything in your life is about a good time.
5. Emotion Not only understanding, having the compassion enough to understand when you are okay, doing well and when you are not.

Short list isn't it. However with out these things you can't develop a normal human emotion called love.

Lacking Maturity in Prayer, Getting Maturity in Prayer

Hi there Diamond Glamour Girl;

What do you do when you are asked to pray for someone? Do you run to the nearest closet? Do you hit the person? Do you crucify the person? The misconception of prayers and miracles in life. The average person should know that...

The Bible
     Talks about
        What is appropriate for daily living.

Visit your local Church

When I was a teenager, I missed one of the several proms, I was invited by young men from other high schools and attended those, however none my classmates ever asked me to the prom. Homecoming Princess have everything right?  If they are prayerful, if they have "that"...that's what they use to call it. Teenagers are intimidated. This particular prom, I was dared by my girlfriends to ask someone to the prom and not sit home. The young man I wanted to ask. Kirk or Curt (this is what I will call him) was away at christian camp. He was a camp director and had already graduated from our high school the previous year. I wrote him for a year while he was at college.

Anyway, the young man asked me for a date.  After a year of writing letters. It happened the date we went on was the same as the prom. (I told him I thought of asking him, however I thought he would think it was silly thing to attend since he was in college. He replied; he would of attended had I asked.)  Small talk. It was a way of having conversation.  I wish I could remember, where we went and what we did. I know that he was as kind as can be. The night was foggy and he was a safe driver. my dad being who he was had the two porch lights on (this makes me laugh today) to detoured young men from kissing me good-night he put in 100 watt light bulbs that you could see all the way to the corner of the street. His philosophy, if you're not able to do it in the light, then you shouldn't be doing it.  It was our first date and I get rather quiet on the first date, I watch listen to see what type of man I am dating. Is he fun? Does his interest lie with self? Is he about sex or relationship. Yes, teen boys even then were described to have one thing in mind. How will he lead? Is he a gentleman? Will he open the car door for me? Will he get out of the car and come to the door or just honk. What are his morals, standards, character like? Guess what you can scare any teenager by asking them what they believe in. What their future plans are.

My date was quiet. He was a quiet young man as well and we struggled to find things to talk about. The one thing he figured out was that he would attempt to kiss me in the car before he walked me to the door. Guess he knew what the lights at the door meant. The funny thing is that in fog, lights are brighter. He startled me with his tall lanky arms.  I quickly got out of the car and told him. I talked to him later.  He went back to camp. We continued to write letters. Prayerful, always closing with "I love you!" Not "I love you" as I want to marry, it was an "I love you" as agape love. Weekends later he came back for a second day...however my sister was engaged and we were about to attend the "meet the in laws" dinner. I forgot about all the date, he was insulted. I can't imagine why. Later, his sister told me how hurt he was. That he had bought me a beautiful cross necklace.  She knew because he gave it to her. I asked her if she thought I should apologize, then I realized I never called boys, so I wrote it in a letter. Never heard from him again. Imagine, I was not desiring to attend the "meet the in-law dinner" and would much rather have gone on my own date. My sisters, cries and young woman, "you're going to ruin my life if you don't attend". I was rude, and I take responsibility for that. No, I don't want to see time today. I love knowing, that the past is the past. I lack maturity in speaking to a young man older than me...I was a Junior in High school and he was a "college man". The test of life that shape our character.

• Matthew 11:6 (NKJV)

  And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
• The fact that my parents were fighting about this dinner because they were in new territory of parenthood, wouldn't allow this young man in, my sister got upset I made a date for the same time so I didn't have to attend, the fact that I had to deliver all the messages while they were yelling in the background offend him. I agree I wouldn't have called me either for another date. If my dad asked I obeyed even in insulting a young man. I know that was not my intention, however it did. I am sure he has lead a good life. "Lesson learned"

• 

  Accepting what you can not and would not change.

  Years later while planning a reunion for "Job Daughter" I came across a friend I knew from Junior High. Her mother called me and asked me to pray for her daughter. This was unexpected. Her daughter, was well organized and loved planning the reunion. She was having so much fun. Looking up people. Reconnecting to friends from the past. I helped whenever possible, but it was her reunion. Here thing. Mom asked if I would pray for her, because she was for the first time in a long time doing something she liked. I got to know her again and like many of us adulthood means you go to work, then home. This woman was signal, worked all day and would go home and be alone. Her mom asked me something no other woman, has ever asked. Her daughter was involved with porn. Job's Daughters were considered prayerful young woman. Not associated with pron. What does the workplace do for a woman? Her dad owned the company she worked for. The cries of a mom's heart are heard. What would you do if a woman mother called you and asked you to help her daughter with pron? She (my junior high friend) invited me to her home. We were able to talk about things that were bothering her. I tried. I didn't know enough about her. Pron is unacceptable in the workplace! It is illegal. I told her to report it to the police. 

• 

  Learning to Pray Again!

  I like usual looked up bible verses to share and ended up taking her to Ann Graham-Lotz "Just give me Jesus" revival. It was for woman at the time. The problem was greater than I.  I was not interested in learning about "Pron" in order to save her, therefore I went to the source that saved me."Jesus". What better group of people than those woman who prayed to Jesus. I thought she would love singing like we did when we were young. Many of the same songs. Unfortunately, she left early. I stayed finished the conference and continued to pray for her. She is one of those I still hold hope for. "I waited for your salvation. Oh Lord." Gen 49:18  The Lord lives! Blessed be the Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted. Psalm 18:35 What I hoped she'd get again is Psalm 18:35. It was not the first time I attended this conference. However, it is a love for that great History book, the Bible that is relevant today.
• I went to work, that Monday, excited about the school God had me planning and praying for those that needed him. I called her mom and told her I did everything I knew how to do. The rest was up to The Lord, and I would stay in touch with her. My friend talked from months after that and then after a while, she didn't call anymore. Life gets in the way sometimes. My friend needed her own voice...and the spirit within her that made NO mean NO and Yes mean Yes. (Matt.5:37)

• Shout Thank You!

• Click on a sponsor. Check your attitude, did you know they both served people? Maybe not with fame, or glory, but with life comes service in one way or another.Tell, a friend, leave a comment. Like: Facebook.com/MariaKamon ; Facebook.com/MK-Pure-Diamond-Events or Facebook.com/FireSaltWaterf or support our fundraising efforts at http://www.mkpurediamondevents.com; Purchase a fundraising T-Shirt:  http://booster.com/FireWaterSalt

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Attitude

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls,

Viet Nam War

I hope you are ready for Memorial Day! For those of you who follow my tweets yesterdays tweets were KISSES. When I was a child my sisters friends were drafted to fight the war that no one wanted to call war, "Viet Nam". It was after the 60's riots and it always felt like something terrible was about to happen. Where some choose to battle others choose to stay away from. I used the (GNB) Good News Bible. Some argue about the choice of bible, I figured if Billy Graham was about the good news I wanted to know. There was a thing called POW bracelets. You purchased the bracelets and were able to write to soldiers to encourage them. My thoughts were I was a child (under the age of 12) and didn't really know what to write adult men fighting a war they didn't want to. I would read the newspaper and listen to the news, to young to understand the ramifications the "war" "non-war" would have in the lives of these men (forgive me, back then the wars only had men or at least that is what was mainly written about. Anyway, I got to experience how encouraging the word of God is to men.



During these times my dad would help me with attitude and the importance of it:

• Philippians 4:5 (GNB) Show a gentle attitude towards everyone. The Lord is coming soon.

• Teaching me also about the beatitudes. I enjoyed learning what was appropriate and pleasing to God and for a child it was knowing it was a way to have standards, guidelines, measures in her life. It was learning what you can control and what you can't. I could control what I wrote in letters I couldn't control what these men experienced, saw or had to do. They were called to something I was not old enough to understand. 

Convalescent Woman

A few years ago, my aunt was sick in the hospital. I grabbed my bible and sat at her bedside reading Psalms. The love I felt for my aunt at childhood was great. As an adult I read the Psalms in the hope that she would hear me. That she would know love.  I have the best memories of my aunt. Like I said in another blog she was my encourager as a child. She was a nurse, by profession and as an signal mom raising her two children (signal mom) she went back to school to see if she could become a doctor. What a powerful role model for my youth. I watched her and tried to think like her. "All things are possible." One of the things she would ask me is: " What would you attempt to do if you know you couldn't fail." "Faith in God includes Faith in His timing." Hab 2:3  The pain of seeing her there void of herself, was enough to pain myself and cry out for God's grace and mercy in her life. Little did I know that those cries would call a priest to her bedside to give her last communion known to Catholics as Eucharist (last rites). Psalm 6:9. My uncle should up as well. I handed him my bible in the hopes we would pray for my aunt. He read a few verses. When the priest arrived he left. For what reason I do not know, I just knew I couldn't leave her alone without family. I stayed and the priest allowed me the honor of feeding her the communion (the Eucharist). I remember saying out loud I didn't want her to choke, he assured me she could still swallow. He laughed. Assuring me she could still swallow. We both prayed over her. I stayed a while longer after the Priest had left. They moved her back to the convalescent home and she died much later. Later I met my cousin and spoke with her. I confess, I am not sure if I signed in that day, at the hospital. All I know is I sat their praying and loving my aunt the best I could.

Why do I share this story with you? Honestly, I am not sure. My truth is not anyone elses or is it? I believe in the goodness of God. One of those knowing God knew I didn't have to carry my aunts sadness or seeing her die in front of me. Like the men I prayed for. Some got to come back and tell me what the letters meant. Others never returned or if they did I didn't get to hear from them. Those I still remember by name. Those I still carry a remembrance of. Knowing that all things work for the good of those that love Him.

What do you want at your beside when your old?  Attitude of Gratitude (Psalm 90:1). The voice of the Lord is over the waters; The God of glory thunders; The Lord is over many waters. Psalm 29:3  He promises that we will never have more than we are capable of dealing with. I know my Lord is a Good Lord.  Shout! Thank you!

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"Marry Me!"

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls;

It is so much fun to read about the latest the greatest in technology. The wedding businesses is blooming with people who want to plan weddings. Then their are the corporations like Wedding Wire, The Knot, and all those magazines brides like looking at. Prop 8 changed the industry forever allowing “gay” marriages. Relationships are and always will be the most difficult thing for humans to do. Like I do, it is difficult to day. We have all these cute sayings for relationships like. “Happy wife, Happy life.”, “Honey, do list.” Or my favorite, ‘Whatever”. The thought of your not even worth the argument, discussion, or thought, take it one step further and your not worth listening to.

Did you think of what the words ‘Marry Me” really mean? Matthew shares with us that in “For in they resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.” Matt. 22:30. He goes on to explain the generations and memorial for what God wants for his people. Ex. 3:6,15. When you think of it. God has placed allot of Fathers in our path. Could it be that our own Father suffers for us? There are many who become this idea of power and therefore mis-use it in abusing the person they marry.

I don’t believe, that is God’s intended idea of the “Father” or “Power”. “God has spoken once, twice I have heard this: That power belongs to God. Also to you belongs mercy; For You render to each one according to his work.” Ps. 62:11-12 Take a moment and reflect these thoughts to your marriage. Does it have these characters traits in them.

When I plan wedding for clients or the first interview, I tend to ask my clients lots of questions. Some wedding planners ask their clients when they met? How they knew it was love? They get involved in their personal relationship. I tend not to do that. In the first interview. Why? The first interview is to get to know a professional and how professionally they will plan their wedding. The topic of relationships does not happen until later as ‘our’ relationship develops. Why? I honestly feel that as a professionally I am hired to plan their wedding not medal in their relationship.

I am hired to assist, plan, design, decorate, help negotiate, counsel, and do other things event planners consider part of the job description. I try not to get into the relationship part of their marriage. Why? I understand other event planners do. In order that I may provide a good service for them. The relationship between client takes time to develop just like any other relationship. I look at my business as a service business. It is about seeing the couple as the “Father” sees them. to some this may be a narrow minded approach, to others it is the correct approach.

Each person is an individual. Caring for them as individual while planning their wedding is the most important part. Please do not misunderstand. I also have to care for me and my business. Just as important your wedding is to you. So, is my business to me. Therefore, boundaries are established one of mine is to not get in your marriage. It is just starting out. There are more important skills to learn, such as negotiating what you want vs what you can afford.

Anyone, can spend your money. I will be happy to spend your money too. The more you spend the better income I make. However, is it the right or correct thing to do?

“Not from the East, nor from the West, nor from the South, come promotion and lifting up. But God is the Judge! He puts down one and lifts another.”  Ps 75:6-7

“For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing.” Rom.14:6

We both do that right? Therefore, what make you better than I or you better than me?

Who's the Bachelor?

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls,

Have you ever wonder how different nationalities do things? It's funny if you think of all the negatives you see only the negatives, if you think of only sex, then you see only sex. What about stereo types? 

I caught one of the episodes of "The Bachelor" you know the one with all the light up dance moves. Creative right? Funny right? I challenge the TV and ask are they stero typing? Are they trying to make another Nation look less competent than the traditional? 

Being an American from birth, born in the United States, seeing how others stereo type the Latin, the Puerto Rician, The Jew, The Italian, The Jap  and the tons of money made off these people stereo type, I ask myself is Juan Paulo being made a fool of? 

Oh how we need Grace, as a Nation that millions of American women swoon over his Latin charisma, while others of us are in pain from the stereo type of what a man should be, act, think,romance a woman. Yes, all for the mighty American dollar. 

We are civil, now we have become so complacent with what we think a dream man should be have forgotten what a real man is? I assure you it's not what the TV show is. It's not what is cold or hot, it is what is true about his character. 

Guess time will tell in 5, 10, 15 years from now what this person has done with their lives and for the lives of other. All I know is that watching seasons you only have to catch one it two to understand the get the picture.

Street Signs

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls,

Happy New Year!  I have a funny thought for you. I was walking down the street in my favorite city, walking my little Yorkie and I say little because it weights less than seven pounds (don't tell him that) he barks at the loudest, biggest of dogs! Anyway, I have to laugh because when I think of weddings, couple, planning a home the last thing I think about is street sign! I know some people do, even a Bob or two that I know who love to tease people. We have had this conversation several times. They think they are funny!

Guess this couple choose the funniest of street names or did they?

If it helps a couple remember why they got married or who they are and they want to let their neighbors know, then that is Freedom and their right.

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What About "Gay" Divorce

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls;

A friend of mine was sharing some insight into the new life that our industry faces. "Gay" marriages. Many in our industry have embraced it, many say it is another source of income, others are undecided and then there are those like me.  Who always had a clear thought about what the bible says a marriage is suppose to be.  How do gay marriages affect this, I know many religious and non-religious or spirit filled churches are in conflict, they have to stand with the bible.  It is the word of God!

Our law states we are to be supportive of the new rights of the human population.  I grew up watching civil rights and how hard people fraught for the simplest of rights, therefore that point is not the point of the arguments I am faced with.  If an officiant feels that her job is just to make sure the bride and groom are legally married and after that their obligations stop, what does a pastor feel?  During my marriage I remember looking for the pastor or preacher that married us.  I just wanted to share some thoughts of things that he had married us with and challenges we would come upon. He had passed away, I remember feeling sad at knowing he had gone to meet his maker.  sad because not only did I miss telling him how good he was about marriage counseling and how accurate he was.  He taught me a lot of biblical truths about marriage that I always leaned on during hard times.

What about divorce? The wedding industry was hit. Hard by the potential of how this will affect the industry.  Those wanting to make many have already begun the process of doing that by teaching people in the industry, the legal ramifications of "gay" marriages. Money is money right? The medium income for gay couple is higher than the average couple.

What about divorce I thought. To myself as I read all the legalities to the industry's new challenge. Are attorneys being trained on the rules to divorce a gay couple or have they been formed.  are the laws different from a man and women marriage.  There is ediquitee   In planning a marriage, does this apply in an "gay" divorce?

"His" Voice vs "Your"Voice

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls;

Who's voice is more important! There was a time that as a child, wan I wondered who was more important! Is the voice of God supersede the voice of " His " people crying out for help?

Today on the news I heard the President of the Unites States say his people were growing contentious.  Contentious, great word. Gods people grew contentions.  Exodus, in the bible is a good example of how Gods people grew contentions. It had to so with time boredom, disbelief that Mosses would deliver what God has promises.

My Grandmother as a child would LwYs tell me God new we yells! The yelling is never of God or righteousness! She would talk about patience, trust, obedience to "His" Word.  She shares stories of when she grew up the nuns would get mixed up about God and obey men and end up pregnant. She also shared stories of what would happen to them. Coat hanger abortions and the sadness the abortions would cast upon the whole town. She explained that not all men who say they are believers Not all men that are good men are men, to learn the difference because a good man was difficult to find. Here stories were her life. I was young and she was patient enough to allow me to ask a lot of questions! 

Her mom and her were somehow evolved in church as a child I listened S she did all types of projects. She taught me how to embroider, make dollies, sew, dram my grandfathers socks ( I laugh at that now but did you know it is an art form, when you so it correctly, the stitches should be the same length and when complete the sock should look like it is brand new). 

I thought about becoming a num until her stories educated me Bout the difficulties of this profession. She never talked bad about the church or its people. She talked Bout the hUmNeA of the profession. Non the less I was over it pretty quickly. 

Listening to Billy Graham change my life forever. He spoke of the freedom in Jesus. Not what you had to give up but what you gain. The price was paid! We didn't have to see what was missing if we saw that from that point on I realized  I had a good that didn't split personality a person!  I had a good who loves! My relationship with my dad changed at that point,  My dads relationship with my grandmother changes at that point. He stopped a lot of arguing with her, my dad was happy for the first time in along time. He began   reading the bible together. It didn't matter what happened to me I have a God who saves! I began to see myself different from my family! I began to pray about my future, my education, my future husband, my children, my home, where we would live etc, I didn't ask to know. I asked for help in recognizing what belonged to me. I asked h to not let others have my portion, my piece of the pie. I was still in elementary school when I knew I wanted to become a teacher. That was fo-filled. All the things I prayed for in my youth were fo-filled, bigger and greater than I Imagined, for this I am grateful.

Now I pray again for my future. My hopes my dream. As I mature and my children are mature adults I pray for their futures their dreams. The relations be blessed, my grandchildren. This is all done with a whisper! Not a dog yelling, or fighting. With a whisper!

I was a cheerleader for my

Children! Everything they do in life I will cheer for them to succeed! I pray you don't hear God yelling in pain. I have! I thank "Him" for yelling in my pain! i told him i sont know how to stop it! It's humbling, therefore I whisper! 

Is Obama speaking to a deaf world?

Are you?

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If you see my children tell them "I love them!" Better yet tell someone you know their mom loves them! Even if she is a terrible moms he did the best she could with what she had! Forgive her so you can feel her love for you! 

Then you both will hear His voice along with your voice together again, in prayer!

 

"Who Has My Ovaries?" Sisterhood

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls;

I grew up with a Mom and a sister.  My mom always wanted to be my sister she could be my sister

When I was still in my youth I can remember men telling my mom she looked so young.  And then turning around and telling my sister she looked old enough to be my mom.  I felt so sad for my sister. She was so insulted. My dad was insulted because they would then ask if he was her father.  My sister's insulted look was something I will never forget.  My mom was so happy because she was always about the beauty. 

 I thank my God for making me a Daddy's girl.  My dad was all about teaching me through scripture. For this I will be thankful all the days of my life. (Phil 4:6) I never could find a way to explain to my sister what was going on. I understood early in life. With both my sister and dad insulted the family arguements would last longer then what they needed to. How do you explain to a sister five years older that was she is being explained is not truth.  I was the "little sister", I didn't know anything, I was too young to know "innoscent".

Did this make daily living easier?  Was it a smooth day all the time?  That is not what he promises.  His promises are others. There are some things that changed my life along the year of growing up reading the bible.  That his word is true even though the cercumstances might not be. 1. Is knowing that there is compassion and it is different than a life of grace and mercy, peace and understanding.  2. Is that it is important in life to acknowledge the pain of others. (Is 13: 8) I tried to explain to my mom, something that she refuses to understand.

The pain my sister felt.  The pain I felt when she acted beautiful with other men.  Was it cheating on my Father?  (Col 2:8) What did it produce? It produced difficulties I have trouble speaking of today.  I was raped, my dad explained with the bible. At the age of thirteen my dad had to explain something I wasn't mature enough to understand. It was difficult for him to understand why or how another man could treat his child that way and I remember him crying as he explained.  As a child I then tried to explained my mom what had happened. She refused to acknowledge it saying it was my fault. I don't agree, not all things that happen to young woman are their fault.

Today I sit in her home with her trying to get her to understand and she still refuses to acknowledge the pain within, as a teen and an adult.  She wants me to be her, but the truth is I am not.  I won't ever her! I am a different kind of mom. I insult when young men or old give me compliments.  I am a mom of male children, who I demand respect from.  I demanded respect from their friends and I do not allow them to offend women, sexually or with false compliments.

Do I deserve an apology from my mom, so does my sister, she has to fess up to her ways at some point. I don't know if I will ever get it. I know my Lord thinks so, she has denied it my whole life. My dad, his dad both apologize for the teens behavior, and the ripple affect it had on my life, because of the years missing are not a compliment or the best of testimonies.  The said thing is I am feeling the ripple affect today being here in a house of the woman who refused to acknowledge it in the first place.  I can't help but wonder if her and my sister would have acknowledged it how our lives would be different.

"And in that day you will say: O Lord, I will praise you; Through You were angry with me, Your anger is turned away, and You comfort me.  Behold, God is my salvation I will  trust and not be afraid; For Yah, The Lord is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation."

"Who Has Your Ovaries?" (Motherhood)

"And on her forehead a name was written:  "MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH." Rev: 17:5

Oh girlfriend how many times have you argued with your mother?  How many times throughout your lifetime have you pleaded for your individuality?  Mother's of son, are they seen differently then mothers of daughters?  Either way there are some mysteries that shouldn't be known until it is our time.

A bowl on my head I wear so I may worship Him?  What type of mother does that make me?  Am I a harlot because I gave birth to son's or am I an angle like my sons because we all worship, the one the only true God.  Is a revaluation the truth, or a mystery of God for us to discovery.  I know that there are times when I was growing up that my mother and I argued about who is in control and who is doing what.

I have prayed, supplicated, worshiped, cried, given testimony after testimonies of the miracles my God has done in my life. I obeyed God's word to letter, as my father taught me.  Did it make my life easier?  Did it make my life rich? Yes, I would say my life is rich, it might not be material wealth, but it is definitely rich, those that know the one true God can only claim it so.

As my mom ages and I take care of her, it is hard to distinguish with the past.  She sees the world so different then I do.  She saw my dad so different then I did.  She remarried away after their divorce and became a different woman, now she is old and I have difficulty relating to her because she chose through out her life not to be close to my children and I.

In the attempt to not choose the same things she did I write text messages to my adult son's everyday. They are seen as endless annoyances but it is my way of communicating with them in the hopes of having a relationships with my adult young men.  My mom's believe is that men do not need a relationship with their mom.  My believe is that no matter what age you are or what you choose to do your mom is something you can't change. She gave birth to you.  Good, bad, ugly, beautiful she is your mom.  

Forgive me children if I choose to be a part of your life.  Forgive me for my annoying text messages detailing everything I do.  Forgive me if you are bothered with a mom that wants to be part of your life and would not give that opportunity to anyone to replace her.  Forgive me, for bothering you.  Forgive me for praying for you.  Mom's like me prayed for the day of your birth since childhood, we prayed for you to get healed when you were sick, we prayed for your teen years to be safe even if it meant us falling.  We will continue to pray for young adult lives.  And we will continue to pray all the days of our lives that if we are not together we are together.  We are a part of you, you are a part of me.  No God would ever tear that apart.  I know I am your annoyance, but it is only to remind you you our my love.  Your are the Grace that God gave me to watch over.  You are His gift and my presents.

I know not all mom's think this way, but I am who my Father made.

Who's in Control of Your Ovaries? (Motherhood)

"And Adam called dhis wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living." Gen. 3:20 

From the moment a female finds out she is pregnant life changes.  Shortly after that the back hurts, she becomes tired, doesn't want to be touched, feet swells, face swells, people greet the belly instead of her.  People no longer say hello, they star and talk to the baby to be.  Family says hiand right   away starts asking how do you feel. As if suddenly you should be feeling something, but your not sure what, so you ask the question you don't want to ask.  "How should I be feeling?"  As soon as that question gets asked....put on your listening ears cause the rest of the time you will be hearing about every women who is there experience with pregnancy.  The Good and the not so good.  I can remember thinking....help me.

Your mom tells everyone about how her pregnancy was with you.  How she felt,  It is her payback time.  Her time to share how you made her feel.  How you took away her freedom. How life changes after you have a baby, and the marriage is never the same.  I laugh at how things can be so different from one women to another. 

Technically, do you think Eve would have accepted the name if she knew its definition?  I think not!  she would of had to choose which living thing she wanted.  Do you want this or this or that.  If I had to do over I would have told God, I want.....  Instead of "Dear God, may I please have....honestly no mom want to think of their son as a "Fill-her", but was that what God meant by all living things? But then again was the snake one of those living things?  If so was he from Adams thought life?

I think if Adam was the best God could make then think about it...he reacted to the snake exactly how men react to "Honey, I'm pregnant." They look at us like we are from another planet.  As if we did it all by ourselves. Confession l know their are devises that exist like that but I don't think it is God's best.  However, they don't talk much either.  So who knows.  "Not right now..I am just about to....Oh touchdown!  What did you say honey your what?" 

What is Motherhood really about.  Ask your children in about 20 years if they are still talking to you and see what they answer.  My answer...."Love".  Learning to love in a way that nothing on earth or heaven will ever teach how totally and completely you can love another human. That raising one of those living thing God gave Eve took a whole lot of GRACE!

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Dear Journal (Part 5 Meeting with Pastor B.)

Hi there Diamond Glamour Girls:

Dear Journal,
Today is the day I met with my pastor and the other person he wants.  Who ever that is. 

Dear Journal,

I have so much to write down my mind is thinking faster then I can write.  I got to church feeling nervous,  filled with anticipation. of what this conversation was going to be about.  Pastor B was his usual caring self.  He asked me how I was feeling, how the planning was coming along.  The he introduced me to the lady standing in the room, Lee.  We both said the usual " Nice to meet you."  Pastor B asked us both to sit down.  We did.

 He began by asking, if I was wondering what he wanted to talk to me about.

 I laughed, jokingly said "no," and then  said "It has had me extremely prayerful.  Did I do something wrong?  I feel a little like I am in the principles office."

"Principles off? When have you ever been called to the principles office?" He laughed.

I started telling him the story of when I was called into the principals office and then realized I was rambling in my words and not letting him speak.  I thought to myself (I am so happy I am speaking with my pastor otherwise anyone else could,would just be upset with me for rambling with my words.  When I am anticipating something I tend to speak of random things so I can just settle myself down into feeling comfortable with the person I am with. I know I tend to want to be respectful sometimes to much.

He sat there patiently listening to me.

I want to tell you we are now in the place in pre-marital counseling were we separate the couple and begin with individualcounseling.  In individual counseling I will be meeting with you and Ree.   

What will be doing?  I asked.

We will be discussing subjects that are sensitive areas to a marriage.  Ree will be here to help, she has been married for a long time and my assistant for a long time so she understands the sensitivities of women role in a marriage.  She also understands the role of a Pastor in marriage counseling.  She will be an advocate for both of us. During this time we will be discussing things like a women's role in marriage, a man's role in marriage, finances, when two become one, the sexual relationship and the ideal of what God indented.  You know all of this will is in the word.  It is truly covered in the bible. Please bring your bible each week.  As we go through and discuss Gods best for a women.  The role Jesus should play in a marriage.  You know that if you are living together you must live in separate homes during this time.  We will be discussing many topics and I think you will enjoy this time of prayer, education and growth in the "Word."  We will also be introducing to you all the people who are involved in putting together your wedding.  Our wedding coordinator and the other members of the body who serve in this ministry.  Pastor B concluded with saying I don't want you to worry, it is a time of blessing you as a women and as a bride.  

I was thankful it was just an information meeting.  I wasn't really prepared for how detailed Pastor B is.  Lee seemed nice, but then again everyone is nice in my church so I never expect anything less.  I did get to explain that we were really living together, but... Pastor B stopped me and said he already knew, that need to stop as well.

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Dear Jounal (Part 3 The Struggle of a Bride)

Hi there, Diamond Glamour Girls;

Dear Journal;

I am so excited, got a promotion at work!  My boss thinks that because I am getting married I am more serious about work.  I explained that I have always been serious about work and have never let him or the company down, but somehow he equates me getting married with me being more responsible and mature.  How he got that idea I don't know.  I think it is a little sexiest, but I am not sure. He has never made any advances or said anything that I consider a violation.  I have to share it with my fiance and see what her thinks.  My boss said to me "For promotion cometh neither from the east , nor from the west, nor from the south..."  Then he offered me a promotion!  A promotion, now I even have more responsibilities.  More money is good I can help my parent pay for the wedding.


Dear Journal;

I shared what my boss said with my fiance and he says I am just being stupid.  I quoted what he said: "For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south..."  My fiance smiled: He thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing.  What? I asked?  How can you say that.  It bothers me to know that just because I am getting married, suddenly changes me into something different.  Like I am not going to work the same. or that suddenly my work will be better.  That's stupid! I am still the same women.  Now, I am thinking I will be around two stupid men all the time.  One that thinks that a married woman is a better worker than a signal woman and the other one who thinks I didn't make a valid point.  Which is it?  Am I a stupid women, or a professional who gets thing done.  I can't be both. Can't wait to discuss this in marital counseling class.  Glad we are taking a year to plan the wedding.  I think I will mention it to the wedding planner to see if she has ever heard of such a thing.  I am not sure of what I am doing now?  What I thought was good may not be and what I thought was bad may not be?


Dear Journal;

After calling several wedding planners and comparing one with the other I finally decided to meet with one.  Excited to show her all the pictures I have collected throughout the years.  How I want this wedding to look and don't care about anything but making it my day!  The phone had a messaged, Pastors secretary called.  What could she want.  Will call her back tomorrow.  I am too busy today, have to get all my ideas together for the wedding planner.  Do you think it is anything like the movie?  Do I take him with me on the meeting?  Will ask him, but ever since he proposed and I try to talk about anything to do with the wedding all he says is:"What ever you want dear.  Just leave me out of all the details.  I will show up on the wedding day. That's good enough, right?"  I called her back again and asked her if I should bring my fiance.  She said yes.  The first meeting should be between the three of us.  She might have her assistant there, it all depends on what else needs to get done for other brides. 


Dear Journal;

First thing this morning I called the secretary back.  She says Pastor wants to met with me without my fiance, he promises there will be another women in the room so don't worry.  He has something he really wants to talk with me about.  But doesn't want me alone when I hear. (Panic, I feel my stomach all in knots. ) His secretary said to me" Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the is its own trouble."  What could he have to say to me that my fiance can't hear.  Why would my Pastor be afraid to be in a room alone with me?  That's weird!

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