How many times have I looked at someone and thought one thing and said another. How many times have I wanted
From the person I was with. Maybe it wasn't for things. Maybe it wasn't for money. Maybe it was just that I needed compassion from the person. Understanding or just a hug. My child died this year and I had to listen to the men that had cursed tell me how great he was. I had to hear the same men pray to the God I pray to after telling me what a terrible mom I was.
With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.
James 3:9-10 NKJV
This scripture came to mind. I know we make mistakes. We are sinners saved by grace. Grace, beautiful, wonderful grace. To know Gods grace is to fall in love with His word.
What does a woman say when she losses a child. Other than help me God. Forgive me God, I must have really I sinned. If I really thought that way then I would not believe in grace. I don't know how I will live the rest of my life. He was suppose to have a few years without me constantly watching him so he could mature into the young man you wanted.
Now, I am left here knowing that the grace that I showed others was not enough, the prayers I said were not enough, the love I gave was not enough, the lessons I taught was not enough, the grace you have was not enough. He left earth November 12, 2014.
Do I curse now? Is it okay? Will I be justified, if I show you I am angry, hurt, upset? Is this what you wanted me to learn? Your anger? Should I be angry? How angry do I have to get. Psalm 77 I was studding and asked a friend to help me study when it hit.
Does studying your word come with such a big price? Then no one would study it. Does asking someone to help you, mean you lose the word you understand? How can I explain to you my feelings? Although your word clearly explains how we are to deal with emotions.
I could get angry at God, then I am less of a woman. If God thought I should have this then He would also give me an understanding and equip me with the power to deal with it and the financial resources. My God is not only able he is willing. Then why does man curse you with their tongue and praise you with it too. It's like the sex addict or the alcoholic who says to his wife "I'm not having an affair", "I'm not an alcoholic." then the neighbor catches him take pictures show it to the wife and its denied. Or the alcoholic that tell the congestion they quit and people see him at the local brewery. They speak what the person wants to hear. Is it your truth?
Is your anger mean or is it like the "Father, who corrects his child with his word, in love." My father never spanked me. I learned young His word was enough. His word was enough. Again I ask why does men do that? Speak with and curse with?
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